Isn’t it amazing how much conversations with friends change over the years?
When I was a little girl, my conversations with my boyfriends mostly revolved around toys: dolls (I only liked those that cried, talked or walked; otherwise, what’s the point?); Lionel Trains (I really wanted a route, but it was too expensive, and they told me “trains are only for boys”); and the Good Humor Man… when would we hear his bell so we could chase him down the street to get our frozen treats?
Add a few years, and conversations veered from toys and ice cream to school clothes, flour and water cards, making ashtrays from handprints on clay fired in a four, and the question how come my bike weighs about 50 pounds and only has one (slow) gear?
The calendar pages were turning faster now, the leaves were falling, and suddenly the bike didn’t feel so heavy, but it’s still sluggish, and to brake you had to push one pedal forward and one back. Shame! Conversations at school now centered on movie stars and what was said in “Photoplay” magazine about Rock Hudson or Marilyn Monroe or that delicious and outrageous rock ‘n’ roll singer from Tupelo. , Mississippi, on whose lower half the camera was not allowed to focus when he was on the Ed Sullivan Show.
A few years later and the chatter was all about makeup and boys, dances and boys, fad diets and boys, taking SATs and choosing to take college prep classes that could have a lot of boys in them. Now there were proms and college applications, campus tours, final exams, and constant late-night conference calls on Princess phones.
Conversations in college went from light-hearted discussions over endless cups of coffee in freshman year to serious, chilling discussions about beer and mixed drinks in senior year with endless worries about the Vietnam War, the draft of birthday and who might go and who might never come back.
Life goes on, you get older, and conversations change, reflecting the transitions. Living together, getting married, having kids, getting a job, changing jobs, getting fired, buying a house, working two jobs to keep that house, the economy. What seemed so important just 10 years ago is now barely memorable. Conversations no longer revolve around the past but focus on “how can we do it today?” and “what will tomorrow look like?”
Suddenly, the small talk around the table at wedding receptions, confirmations, and snacks is no longer about who’s getting married next or who’s bought a new house or who’s waiting. Now, middle-aged guests around those tables with thick waists and graying hair are swapping stories about who just had a colonoscopy, how bad the preparation was, and who in their circle of friends went wrong. was the first to be diagnosed with cancer. This same gang that used to lie in the sun on local beaches without a care in the world now visits dermatologists on a yearly basis and cares about every little bump or discoloration.
Then we move on to “replacement” conversations, usually with people 55 and older. Meet someone you haven’t seen in a while whether on the street or for a coffee or a drink, and inevitably after “So, what’s up with you?” they tell you! And down to the smallest detail. Knee replacements, titanium hips, shoulder surgery, carpal tunnel issues, cataracts and pacemakers, oh my!
In the later stages of our lives, when we meet friends and families, the conversation quite often turns to “organ recitals”. “What’s new?” “Well, I had liver problems, Tony had a stent put in, and oh, did I tell you about the kidney stone I passed? That was a huge one!” Usually, these organ recitals take place during a meal. You won’t need Jenny Craig, it will kill your appetite in a heartbeat!
Remember when conversations were light and easy? When can you brag about your child’s report card over a cup of coffee, lie about your bowling score, or riff on the latest bestseller, next week’s movie, or summer coat sales? winter ? Yes, as you have often heard, those were the good old days. The only thing was that we just didn’t know. The simple days of polite conversation where the only thing you replaced was a light bulb, and the organ recitals took place in church where everyone was dressed for the occasion.
Rona Mann has been a freelance writer for The Sun for 21 years, including her “In Their Shoes” articles. She can be reached at six07co@att.net or 401-539-7762.