It really should be called the Mockdown Diaries, because it’s the brave people of downtown Ottawa who have been taken hostage in their homes. We do not suffer in comparison. They, their children, and their pets have been through something that can lead to permanent physical damage, and most certainly emotional damage.

Why am I staying close to home despite things looking up? Because too many of you have missed important surgeries and appointments and our medical system doesn’t need the occasional casualty.

Simulation day 681: How come I lose my slippers several times a day, but when I hit the “back” button on my computer even days after I last used that tab, it quickly comes back and finds things ? It’s like my computer is saying, “Be scared, my memory is literally infinite,” and my slippers are saying, “Next to your bed, you idiot.”

Simulation day 682: A walk in LaSalle Park provided the honking of ducks and swans instead of…that other honking. A little raccoon stared at me, a bit like I stared at his relatives when they visit my green bin. I made a commitment to go out to quiet places at least three times a week. Highly recommend bringing a ski pole so you don’t wipe yourself out. I remembered a ski pole the second time.

Simulation day 683: I make shepherd’s pie for the kids. It’s a favorite, so I use my biggest pans. (Note: These Corning White pans were a wedding gift from my Aunt Kay 32 years ago, and they’re still the best gift ever. I miss you, Aunt Kay.) Ari comments that it’s a huge patty Chinese. They took the smallest. Christer texts a photo of their huge dish, with the half missing and the caption, “I’ve only eaten so far.”

Simulation day 684: Cairo has a head wound that won’t heal. I take out the cat cage that it got too big a few years ago and stuff it in. She screams and screams as I bandage the scratches on my arms. She screams to the vet. She is being treated, the vet warned me that she might be a little lethargic from the medication. I say welcome. She says she might also miss a meal or two. We both laugh and laugh. Cairo has no shortage of meals. Take her home and she rushes out of the cage. An hour later, she is sleeping in it.

Mockdown Day 684 (later): Pea spent six hours chasing after Cairo because Cairo smells like the vet. “There’s nothing wrong with me!” screams Cairo. “Keep quiet so I can sniff your ass,” Pea said.

Simulation day 685: Watch truckers protest with their company logos plastered on their platforms. Welcoming the pain of insurance they don’t anticipate. When I worked at Consumers Distributing and was in a bad mood, I just wore someone else’s badge. I was smarter at 16 than those idiots.

Simulation day 686: Do you know why I don’t do laundry at night? That’s why: I’m throwing away the last batch of cleaning cloths and cat towels. Five minutes later, I’m upstairs and I hear a bang. Then another. I carefully descend the stairs to confront the burglar who I know is breaking in, but I see nothing. The banging starts again. These are the running shoes I threw away with the load. If it was day it would be fine, but every bump and knock at night is someone creeping in. Nobody ever broke in.

Grocery prices are crazy, but some are definitely feeling the pinch more than others. Please go online and donate to a local food bank in your area. A few minutes, no matter the amount, and you’ll make a difference.